All by myself
by o0oBishieo0o
Summary: Songfic: Sequel to "I love you, goodbye" Rated for mild Shounen Ai and angst. Please R+R Arigatou!! *grins and scampers off*


Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!!...The song "All by myself" belongs to "Celine dion" and the Gravitation bishounen belong to Muramaki-sama they are not MINE!! *wails*..the world is so cruel!! *smirks* This is also SHOUNEN AI!! *waves banners* Okay its mild, but its still there, SO if ya dun like the idea of this DON'T READ!! All flames will be sent to virgina to keep my fire going! Please R+R comments craved!! Arigatou!!  
  
  
All by Myself  
  
  
Eiri was cold, burying deeper under his covers he closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind, rubbing his fingers across his temples wishing his mind was blank, If it was blank he could forget. It was two weeks since he had walked out on Shuichi and although the actual body of the boy was taken from his life his spirit seemed to constantly hover around him, Every time Eiri closed his eyes Shuichi was there, every shadow dancing across his wall in the growing darkness seemed to somehow remind him of the younger boy.  
  
When I was young,  
I never needed anyone,  
And making love was just for fun,  
Those days are gone.  
  
Pushing his golden bangs from his line of vision Eiri sat up, leaning against the wall of his now small apartment he lit up a cigarette and took a long drag, tired eyes scanning the contents of the almost bare room. It was at times like this he started to wonder if Shuichi really did care for him, the singer hadn't bothered to try and find Eiri since he had walked out, well as far as he knew that was the case, he'd heard nothing in the two weeks and so could only put it down to Shuichi either finding someone else, or killing himself. Eiri had always wondered about the boys mental state at time to time and so wouldnt put it past him. Sighing Eiri kicked the covers away from his waist and stood up, padding to the bathroom he turnt to face the mirror above the sink and regarded his reflection, his face was pale, faint traces of a stubble showing, the only alive thing about him was his eyes, still glowing with the same fierce intensity despite the fact ringed with dark smudges and faintly red as if he had been crying for a lifetime.  
  
Living alone, I think of all the friends I've known,  
But when i dial the telephone,  
Nobodys home.  
  
  
Turning the tap on and letting the water run into the sink Eiri closed his eyes, the sound of the splashing echoed through the rooms, killing the silence momentarily. Placing his hands under the running liquid he shivered as a jolt ran through his body. Leaning over the sink he began to wash his face, the water catching the edges of his bangs, making the fine strands stick to his damp forhead.  
  
All by myself, don't wanna be  
All by myself, any more.  
  
Throwing on a clean black shirt, the blonde padded out of the room and glanced around once more, gaze falling on that of his laptop, eyeing the object with disgust Eiri grunted and made his way silently to the kitchen, lost in his own thoughts. For the past few days his writing had slowly ebbed to a stop, Eiri's thoughts were so wrapped up in other matters his inspiration was lost and so no more fancy, meaningless words were written on the blinking blank screen.  
  
Hard to be sure, sometimes i feel so insercure,  
And love so distasnt and obscure, remains the cure.  
  
For thats all they were, they weren't truthfull, they didn't fullfill dreams, the words that the media constantly described as "talent" were just used as an escape from reality. Lie's told to make others feel better, thats all they were. But still the fans hung onto the words that were once born from Eiri's fingers no matter how many times they were replicated..they were still his words right?..His thoughts, Yuki Eiri knew everything.  
  
All by myself, Don't wanna be,  
All my myself, Anymore,  
All by myself, Don't wanna live,  
All by myself, Anymore.  
  
Scowling at his train of thought Eiri opened the cooler and drew out a beer, sliding the cool can across his forhead he closed his eye's breifly, before slamming the can onto the counter, causing the now foamy substance to leak out through the dent. Cursing loudly he started to open cupboards looking for a cloth to clean up the mess. Grabbing the nearest piece of material, he began mopping at the spilage muttering quietly to himself.  
  
When i was young, I never needed anyone,  
And making love was just for fun, Those days are gone,  
All by myself, Don't wanna be,  
All by myself, Anymore!!  
  
It was the sound of the telephone ringing that stopped his actions, easing himself up from the floor he walked into the living room, running a hand through his mused hair.  
"Moshi moshi.."  
"Y...Yuki?..Its me..Shuichi"  
Eiri's heart skipped a beat, as he heard the sweet melodic voice once more, frowning slightly he took a quiet breath.  
"Hai...what is it that you want?"  
"Well..I..umm, was wondering if you werent to busy, we could..umm..maybe talk for awhile"  
Yuki bit his lower lip as he fought to keep his breathing calm and not break down into tears. There was a chance, Shuichi hadn't forgotten him after-all, perhaps everything was going to be okay, no more people telling him what was good for him, when he knew himself what he wanted.  
"Hai, we can meet...where?"  
"Ah!..thats great!!!...i mean..the park, i'd like to meet in the park"  
Chuckling quietly down the phone Eiri checked his watch.  
"Wakatta, I'll be there in an hour, don't go doing something stupid now, i don't want to be kept waiting for ages"  
Hearing the faint giggle down the line Eiri hung up the phone and returned it to the stand. Walking back into his bathroom to continue getting ready Eiri glanced into the mirror once more, His eyes although still tired held a small light in them, and replaced by his usual scowl was a smile.  
  
All by myself, Dont wanna live,  
Don't wanna live by myself, by myself anymore,  
By myself, Anymore.  
  
Owari.  
  
  
  
  
AN: FINALLY!! *waves banners* This has been sitting on my computer for ages!! I had major block and could only stare blankly at it O_O!! This was also written at 2am so please ignore any grammer/spelling mistakes that i may have made ^_^ I'd like to dedicate this fic to Nanashi (Doukeshi03) for mentioning Gravi in her last mail and reminding me that i had this sitting around, and also to Sei-ko for giving me such a brilliant review for "I love you goodbye"  
I couldn't keep them apart forever Sei-ko that would be cruel!!..You asked for another songfic..SO! this one's for you! *glomps* thanks for the great review!! ^___^  
And to all that read this fic, I hope ya enjoyed it please R+R!! *scampers away to cause more insanity*  
  
Bish 


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